Letting Your Puppy Win: Why It’s the Smartest Training Choice You Can Make

k9HS - Carlos
Mar 8
5 min read

Hello hello, Pet Parents! Carlos here. Have you ever played tug-of-war with your puppy and wondered, Should I let them win? Or maybe during a training session, you’ve thought, Am I giving in too easily?

There’s a common myth that letting your puppy win makes them “dominant” or encourages bad behavior. But the reality? Letting your puppy win is one of the best things you can do to build confidence, trust, and motivation for learning.

Let’s break down why allowing your puppy to succeed—rather than forcing them to “lose”—creates a stronger bond and a better-behaved pup in the long run.

1. The Myth: “If My Puppy Wins, They’ll Think They’re in Charge” Letting Your Puppy Win: Why It’s the Smartest Training Choice You Can Make

Many pet parents have been told that if they let their puppy “win” (whether it’s a game of tug, choosing when to stop petting, or deciding when they want to engage), they’ll become dominant or refuse to listen.

🚫 False! Dominance theory has been thoroughly debunked by modern behavioral science. Dogs aren’t trying to take over the household—they’re just trying to navigate their world based on what works and what feels safe.

Instead of worrying about “winning” or “losing,” think about teaching and reinforcing behaviors that build trust and cooperation.

2. Why Letting Your Puppy Win Is a Good Thing Letting Your Puppy Win: Why It’s the Smartest Training Choice You Can Make

Allowing your puppy to experience little victories makes them:

✅ More Confident – Puppies who win feel accomplished and are more likely to keep engaging in play and training.

✅ More Motivated to Train – If your puppy knows they can succeed, they’ll be excited to try again.

✅ Less Likely to Develop Frustration or Anxiety – Constantly being corrected or overruled can create stress, which can lead to avoidance behaviors or even reactivity.

Let’s look at a few real-world scenarios where letting your puppy win makes all the difference.

3. Training & Play: When Winning Builds Confidence

🐶 Playing Tug: Winning Encourages Engagement

Some pet parents hesitate to let their puppy win at tug-of-war, fearing it will create a “dominant” dog. But science tells us the opposite—dogs who “win” at tug become more engaged with their human and are more likely to bring the toy back for another round!

🔹 How to Play:

Tug for a few seconds, then let go so your puppy “wins.”
Act excited and encourage them to play again.
Teach them “drop it” by trading the toy for a treat—this keeps the game cooperative.

🛑 What NOT to do:

Don’t yank or pull too hard, as this can make the game frustrating.
Don’t immediately take the toy away when they win—let them enjoy their victory for a moment before starting another round.

What’s the lesson? Letting your puppy win teaches them that playing with you is FUN, not a battle for control.

🐶 Training Sessions: Success Over Struggle

Training is about teaching, not testing. If your puppy is struggling to perform a cue (like “sit” or “down”), pushing them too hard or withholding rewards can make them frustrated.

🔹 Instead, set them up for success:

Break behaviors into small steps so they “win” along the way.
Reward every effort instead of waiting for perfection.
If they’re struggling, lower the difficulty (e.g., help them get into position).

🐾 Example: If you’re teaching “stay” and your puppy can only hold it for two seconds—reward that! Over time, you can increase the duration.

🚫 What NOT to do:

Don’t expect too much too soon—puppies need time to learn.
Don’t withhold rewards until they get it exactly right—small wins build confidence.

What’s the lesson? Training should feel like a fun, rewarding process, not a stressful test.

🐶 Socialization: Letting Your Puppy Choose to Engage

A big part of socialization is giving your puppy choices. Some pet parents think their puppy needs to “win” every interaction by greeting every dog or person—but that’s not always what’s best for them.

🔹 Instead, let your puppy choose:

If they approach a new person or dog, great—reward them for being social.
If they hesitate, don’t force them. Instead, let them observe and engage when they’re ready.

🐾 Example: If your puppy is nervous about meeting another dog, let them watch from a distance first. If they choose to approach, reward them. If not, respect their decision.

🚫 What NOT to do:

Don’t push them into situations where they feel uncomfortable.
Don’t assume every dog or person wants to interact with them—consent matters!

What’s the lesson? Letting your puppy decide when and how to engage builds trust and prevents fear-based behaviors later. Letting Your Puppy Win: Why It’s the Smartest Training Choice You Can Make

4. When to Guide Instead of Letting Your Puppy Win

While winning builds confidence, there are a few situations where we should guide our puppies instead:

🚫 Safety Issues: If your puppy tries to chew electrical cords, grab unsafe objects, or run into the street, step in immediately—no negotiation here.

🚫 Persistent Unwanted Behaviors: If your puppy keeps jumping on guests, chewing furniture, or barking for attention, we need to redirect the behavior rather than ignore it.

In these cases, management, training, and positive reinforcement are the best tools—not force or intimidation.

5. Final Thoughts: Winning Builds Trust

Pet parents, training and play shouldn’t be about dominance—it should be about building trust, confidence, and a strong relationship with your puppy.

Letting them win doesn’t mean they’ll become “bossy” or “stubborn”—it means they’ll feel safe, motivated, and eager to learn.

So next time you’re playing tug, training a new cue, or introducing your puppy to something new, ask yourself:👉 “Am I setting them up to win?” Because when they win, so do you!

Have questions about puppy training and confidence-building? Reach out—I’m here to help you and your pup navigate the learning process together!

Carlos F. Morales - CDBC | CPDT-KA

Carlos is head trainer at Canine High School in Long Beach CA, a force-free Puppy School and Dog School. He is responsible for creating the School's Dog Training System, Curriculum and Philosophy. In addition to educating his canine students and their human parents, he runs a teaching school that offers apprenticeship and internship programs for aspiring professional dog trainers. He is a Certified Mentor Trainer for several dog training schools and holds certifications with the IAABC and the CCPDT. He lives in Long Beach CA in a little house by the beach with his human, his three dogs GoGo, Kiba, Choji and a sassy cat, Habibti.